The sky before the storm maybe It’s my soul

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I love the sky before the storm. Once so blue and alive, seemingly unbreakable, now collapsed with the sound of great silence. Silence before the thunder. Once full of color now faded, weak, clear. You can see every crack, every wound all those scars. You can see how fragile it really is, how colors get washed away easily. All it takes is one grey cloud. Yet, the clearance of it, all the visible cracks make it look so beautiful, mesmerizing. Beauty in pain.  Maybe it’s the same with me. Maybe the sky before the storm is my heart. Maybe that’s why I have been alone for my entire life. People can see. They admire from the far but when it rains they hide. Maybe it’s the same with clear souls like mine. They find peace in watching our storm form. When it comes, they are gone.

Am I alone or do you clear the sky with me? Do we all form a canvas of admiration or are we here just to wash away the dirt? Maybe behind our greyness hides the sun and that’s what they are waiting? Or maybe the sun is millenniums behind.

Lacking positivity 

But always, lots of love, Ellodie 

Aromatherapy and nutrition for anxiety and depression

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Part two:  Nutrition

I could dive deep into the tedious details about nutrition and how it effects our body and mental health. Honestly while I was in class I would just sit there and read through the slides with my eyes half closed. In the meantime our teacher was having the same amount of fun, reading those slides with the most monotonous voice I had ever heard. I don’t want my post to be the product of that.

Nutrition is a very interesting and important topic and I will do my best at presenting it to you in that light. Let’s first be aware of the fact that our brain is always working. It is responsible for all of your thoughts, reactions and movements. It is the reason you are breathing while reading this post. You reading this post are another one of the brains credit. You can even thank your brain for those lovely dreams you had because the brain works hard even while you’re asleep.

Like a car

Now imagine that hard working brain of yours as a beautiful car. Like every car it means your brain requires a constant supply of fuel. For us humans that fuel comes from the foods you eat. What’s in that fuel is what makes the difference. That fuel is what is responsible for your cars function. What you eat directly affects the function of your brain therefor your mood aswell.

Like a shiny expensive car, your brain functions best when it gets only high- quality fuel.  Eating high-quality foods that contain lots of antioxidants, vitamins and minerals are what get our brain in its best condition. Therefore it protects the brain from oxidative stress. Oxidative stress is a mischievous group of free radicals that are produced when the body uses oxygen. Our body doesn’t need them. In fact, they can be extremely harmful for us.

Your brain can be damaged if you take bad, fatty foods just like a car when you put anything other than premium fuel in it.

Most important hormone for mental health

Serotonin is a neurotransmitter that is extremely important for our mental state. It helps regulate mood, appetite and sleep.  About 95% of your serotonin is produced in your gastrointestinal tract and your gastrointestinal tract is filled with a hundred million nerve cells, or neurons. Therefor it makes sense that the inner workings of your digestive system are not here just to digest food but also to guide and regulate your emotions.

Listen to your body

Start paying attention to how you feel depending on the food you ate that day. Change up your diet and write down how you felt during that period of time. Try eating raw and clean foods like fruits, steamed and cooked vegetables. You also might want to try going dairy-free. In fact, the milk we drink as infants is the amount of milk we need for the rest of our life. Then again a lot of people said that they feel better when their diets are grain-free. It is all individual, see how you feel. Then slowly introduce foods back into your diet, write down your feelings again.

Mood boosters:

 Tryptophan-Rich Foods

Tryptophan can have a positive effect on stress. This amino acid helps your brain produce feel-good chemicals. Tryptophan is a precursor to serotonin, and serotonin, as a neurotransmitter, helps you feel calm.

Where to find it: sesame seeds, milk, turkey, chicken, bananas, milk, oats, and cheese, soy, nuts, peanut butter, and sesame seeds.

 

Vitamin B

Deficiency in B vitamins such as folic acid and B12 can cause depression.

Where to find it: leafy greens, legumes, oranges and other citrus fruits, rice, nuts, and eggs.

 

Whole Wheat

Carbohydrates increase production of serotonin in the brain. When you are craving carbs choose whole grains, such as whole wheat bread or brown rice, rather than processed food such as sugar, candy, or even white bread.

Grains take longer for the body to break down, and release sugar into the bloodstream slowly. Therefor it has a long-lasting effect. Processed carbs will give you an immediate energy boost but will be followed by an insulin rush, which rapidly drops blood sugar levels, leaving you feeling more tired and weary than before.

 

High-Protein Foods

Protein helps stimulate the production of the brain chemicals norepinephrine and dopamine. Dopamine like serotonin, are neurotransmitters and they carry impulses between nerve cells. Higher levels of norepinephrine and dopamine have been shown to improve mental energy.

Where to find it: Greek yogurt, cheese, fish, eggs, beans, soy, lentils and nuts.

Ideal potion for mood-boosting is to combine complex carbohydrates with protein, and to spread your meals throughout the day. Little bites and healthy snack get your metabolism constantly working which helps your body digests food quicker and gets all the goodies through your brain faster.

Food to Avoid:

Caffeinated Drinks

People like to drink coffee and other beverages that contain caffeine such as: tea, hot chocolate etc. to help boost their energy levels. But the problem is that caffeine has been shown to inhibit levels of serotonin in the brain. When serotonin levels are suppressed, you can become depressed and feel irritable. Caffeine also can keep you awake, leading to stress and anxiety. Remember that you need to sleep well to be in a positive mood.

Candy

Well let’s be honest we all need sweets, and they do make us feel better but again it’s a temporary lift.  Why? Sugar is absorbed quickly into the bloodstream. The absorption causes a high surge of energy. But that surge wears off as the body increases its insulin production to remove the sugar from your bloodstream. As a result: You then feel tired and low.

Alcohol

Now alcohol is a well-known buddy to depression.  Depressed people drink alcohol because it seems to ease stress and it makes them forget their worries. Unfortunately, the happy time is only temporary. In fact alcohol is a depressant. Like caffeine, alcohol is a diuretic, and it’s important to stay hydrated for a number of reasons, including mood. Therefor drink in moderation.

I hope you enjoyed todays post like always feel free to like, share and comment.

Question the food you see,

Lots of love Ellodie

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Random facts about random me

Since I will be getting pretty personal and upfront with you guys, I wanted you to get to know me a bit better. I personally think It is a lot easier to connect with somebody online (and in real life of course) if they share some random things about themselves.

50 facts about me

  1. I learned to read when I was three and a half years old.
  2. My favourite thing to do as I child was to sit in my grandpas lap and draw/paint with him (he is a painter). I still draw and paint up to this day.
  3. My parents were in a difficult financial trouble when I was a child so I painted a lot of pictures and sold them to people on my street so I can give the money to my parents.
  4. I made quite a lot of money actually but my parents never accepted it.
  5. My grandma is a spiritual healer she healed quite a few people in her life but she stopped doing it because people started to spread rumors.
  6. I was surrounded by animals from day one and I am so grateful for that.
  7. I love all animals but I admire horses the most.
  8. I became a vegetarian when I was 10 years old and I love it.
  9. My mom use to blend meat with my food and tried to trick me to eat it, I would always taste it and never eat it. I used to sit infront of the plate for hours untill she finally gave in.
  10. My parents fought all the time about money, from that moment on I promised myself that money will never influence anything in my life. Speacially not the relationships I have with people.
  11. My favourite food are pickles.
  12. My favourite snack are pickles with wasabi sauce and horseradish.
  13. My mom cheated on my dad.
  14. She told me weeks before she told my dad that she will devorce him. I had to keep it a secret.
  15. My favourite music genre now is classical music, when I was younger It was rock and heavy metal.
  16. My grandma is my favorite sibling, she thought me how to walk in our cottage where I would spend every summer and winter.
  17. I was in a abusive relationship.
  18. I thought that I knew what love is but I didn’t not untill I met my currrent boyfriend .
  19. We met online and just three days after we first met I committed suicide, he came to the hospital and he was the first thought in my mind when I woke up (during that time I was still in that abusive relationship).
  20. We have an interesting and complicated story, it is really a movie like love story.
  21. My first pet was a dog named Buki he was a pekingese, I had him till I was 14.
  22. I have a paw-shaped birthmark on my right leg.
  23. I live with my dad and my stepmom.
  24. I lived in a house next to the house of my grandparents and unckle, I moved when I was 15 to an appartment.
  25. My neighbourhood gets pretty scarry at night and I encounterned strangers I never want to met again.
  26. My favourite writer is Haruki Murakami and Pablo Neruda.
  27. I feel strangly connected with Ludwig Van Beethoven.
  28. My mom listened to Fur Elise all the time when she was pregnant with me.
  29. Fur Elise always was and still is my favourite song.
  30. I can see auras and energy fields.
  31. When I was little I remember I was talking to angels, I believe I did see them.
  32. I love conspiracy theores and occultism.
  33. I am scared of the dark and of mirrors.
  34. I always wanted to develop telekinesis abbility, I stopped practicing it daily. I will start again.
  35. Meditation helped to mend my anxiety and panic attacks greatly.
  36. I love water and water sounds. Water relaxes me more than anything else.
  37. I am an only child.
  38. I love deep conversations.
  39. I prefer sunset over sunrise.
  40. I believe sunset and candle light makes everyone so much more beutiful.
  41. I love falling in love. I fall in love on a regular basis in books,poems,art,natureand music.
  42. I believe in Laws of attraction.
  43. I suffer from anxiety, panic attacks,eating disorder, bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder.
  44. I despise and dont belive in pills for mental disorders, everything can be healed with nature,meditation,water,love and conversations.
  45. I don’t take any pills for my disorders and I drank them only for 1 week ( I was diagnosed when I was 14, I am 19 now) and I am better than ever know.
  46. I healed and I am still healing my self with therapy I mentioned under number 43.
  47. I want to be an actor,writer and journalist.
  48. I feel fulfilled when I help people and animals, I believe that is my role on this earth.
  49. I am very emotional.
  50. I feel emotions and moods of other people before I even walk in the room.

My mood is oftenly changed by the emotions that are filling the space around me. I hope you liked this little tag I did.                                                                                                                 Have a lovely morning, day, evening and take care. Lots of love Ellodie.

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Butterfly in you

Greetings my lovelies. Today I managed to catch and trap that positivity cloud of mine. So now I am going to send it to you guys through todays post. Let’s get straight into today’s topic beause I am feeling extra chatty today and if I continue to write every word that flows through my brain, you would be stuck here with me for quite a long time. A few months ago I created an account oh HITRECORD. It’s a really creative and inspiring place to be if you are an artist so go check it out, it is a really nice community. I didn’t post much on their platform because It didn’t really stick with me like word press. Anyway I am really floating away from our topic today. There was a challenge there with word restriction to write a little poem or haiku. So I wrote this:

Butterfly had flew

Three days only

So he knew

To live slowly

The poem appeared in my mind out of nowhere. Actually it appeared just like a butterfly.  Flying gracefully without interrupting me the tiniest bit. It was up to me whether I notice it or not.  After that submission the poem just bonded with me. Became my mantra. Let me clarify it the best I can for you.

Moments not days

It’s a well known fact that butterflies live for only a few days ( two to ten days at the most ).  Within those few days butterfly always endeavors to fly directly under the sun. The butterfly warms his wings with sunrays,  it greets every flower he can find and rest a few seconds on every pestles and enjoys its nectars. Basically the butterflies live their  life to the fullest within those few days.  They don’t rush, they explore earths offerings and they thank the earth by admiring it and acknowledging  her existence.

I came to realize that is exactly how I should live. Before you disagree with me and start to think well we are not butterflies we have to work we have commitments, I agree. I am not saying we can go around jumping and looking at flowers all day.

We can stop looking at our phone screen while we are in the bus or walking to work and instead look at what surrounds us. I saw so many people admiring pictures of nature on their phones and not looking straight in front of them.  We can slow our pace down and not rush the conversations with our coworkers , friends or our siblings, we can see beauty in everyday activities. We can be better versions of ourselves, every day . We can start doing that one thing we always want to but never do because there is plenty of time. Unfortunately time is unpredictable, you can only be sure of this second. The other second is a bold and scary yet exciting question mark.

I had this morning, I have this second to sit down and write today. I am sure of this second but I can never be sure of the day. I can use every second that I have, that I can do and I will do it. Seconds become minutes hours and so on to the years. Every day you get to wake up and start fresh. Every morning the sun greets you with no judgment no memory of the days before, you can be what you want  to be. What you decide to be that day.

A butterfly was a caterpillar once

And there is nothing in a caterpillar that makes you think it is going to be a butterfly. With time it changes every day, little by little. Until one day it wakes up, spreads it wings and fly. You get to have that day.

 I was not the first one to find inspiration in these wonderful creatures so I will leave you today with a few of my favorite quotes about butterflies.

“The butterfly counts not months but moments, and has time enough. “ Rabindranath Tagore

“What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly. “ Richard Bach

“Just living is not enough,” said the butterfly, “one must have sunshine, freedom and a little flower.” Hans Christian Andersen

I hope you see a butterfly today  and smile (and remember me of course).

Who ever you are, be free.

Lots of love, Ellodie.

A rather chatty introduction

Greetings world of WordPress

Since I am a Newbie here I gave a slight tought on how should I make my first impression here. We all know  first impressions are so important and they stay rooted in our mind for quite a long time. But I came up with nothing. Nothing  but storm of ideas, thoughts and words squished together.  And well there you go, that is my whirpool of a brain and that whirpool is constatnly spinning and draging along more thoughts every passing second.  That is one advantage of having an anxiety, you constantly think and calculate everything. Threfore I am comforting my somewhat damaged mental health with an idea of my own that the most creative people have anxiety…so if you are one of them, well congrats to you cause by my theory you are one amongst most creative people.

And since I touched that topic, I wanna give you a slight glance into my notebook of ideas and topics ready for this blog ( whilst I type this that shinning notebook sits looking rather so marvellously empty on my desk ) but no worries my mind is ready but my hand was just to lazy to write it on paper.

One recouring topic will most definantly be mental health, I have been through quite alot and when I needed help the professionals that were there to help did nothing but sit my but on that chair and ask questions such as : „Are you okay?“, „Why do you feel like that?“, „Dont be so harsh on yourself, sweetie.” And they would end that amazing beneficial session with a good old: „Its all gonna be okay.“

My conclusion after all that therapy was that I was just another name in their computer, another butt on their chairs, another zero on their paycheck. 

I am not saying that all of the therapists are like that but mine were. They were doing it for money and money in my opionion splashes mud on everything. But I couldn’t be more grateful to those therapists for when I came to my therapist the last time and while she was talking to her fellow worker about where she will go on her holliday I understood that I am not gonna waste another minute of my life there. I spotted how the sun peaked through her old black windows and I understood that life awaits for me out there, not here. I am in control of what I see, what I feel and what my thoughts are. I can sit here, locked amongst these cold plain walls and constantly spin around my problems or I can accept them go outside feel the warm sun on my skin look at the colorful trees and see how my thoughts change. So I wanna help you, be here for you and tell you that you can help yourself, you are the king in your head, you are the ruler. Therefor If you can be the destroyer and damage yourself you can for sure be the healer and fix every crack, because you know where that crack is hidding.

To end this post I will say : Talk to the sun about your problems and it will warm and mend your wounds, talk to the trees about them and they will whisper the truth.