Steps to letting go ( originally written and posted on BayArt)

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Letting go

Without letting go of the past you will never be able to live in the present. I want to emphasize the importance of letting go of any grudges any regrets, losses, missed chances or broken hearts.

Forgiveness my experience

I never truly forgave my mother. I was and I still am in touch with her, we see each other. Much more than we used to. In the beginning months would past and she wouldn’t call. I now have a better relationship with her than ever. I believe that is because I finally peeled of the mask I glued onto myself as a result of protecting myself. My soul was still clinching on my dads once broken heart and on the past. I had poison of blame flowing through my veins. Poisoning my heart daily for 7 years and I never really admitted it to myself.  Admitting is a first step in every aspect of our lives. Being honest with yourself is the healthiest decision and the greatest favor you do in your lifetime. I am going to share some steps that I followed in my letting go process because that is a hard but rewarding process trust me.

Admitting it

I know it’s hard to admit firstly let alone allow yourself to release the thorns in your heart. Past can be a beautiful rose that we water and admire everyday even after it’s rotten. Past can be a bunch of thorns that we hold onto tightly because we think it is the only thing that can fill our scars. Specially than its hard to let it go because it is not a pleasant feeling to bleed but bleeding stops. We just need to let the wounds breathe.

Steps

  1. Cry it out – holding it in is just gathering all of the negative emotions in your body and mind. It will influence your health, both mental and physical. Negative emotions gather up and later lead to stress and depression.
  2. Collect your thoughts, see what experience thought you and what you gained from it – every bad experience in our life is a great lesson, we become a better and stronger person because of them.
  3. Meditate – Meditation is a big helper in every aspect of our life because we learn how to connect with ourselves in the deepest way possible. We unravel the truth; we learn how our mind really functions and how to treat it.
  4. Acknowledging your progress – It is always important to acknowledge your success, It keeps you motivated and it makes you push even harder.
  5. The only three options – you only truly have three options: moving yourself out of the situation, changing it or accepting it. If it is bothering you and affecting your life still than the first and the last option are obviously not working.
  6. Just talk – Talking is the key to moving on, share your thoughts and emotions with others, find people that been through the same or similar situations.
  7. Put on the other pair of shoes – See the situation from the other perspective; try to understand their reasons and emotions. Keep in mind we are all humans and we make mistakes. How we deal with them later is what makes the difference.
  8. Visualize your present reality – see what surrounds you know and how you feel and live in this moment.
  9. Metaphorically throw it away- I found this method in a book written by a Buddhist (“Don’t worry, be grumpy” by Ajahn Brahm) It works like magic. Write down all the negative thoughts on a ball or a piece of paper or glue them to a stick, visualize your past and everything you wrote down and throw it away. You can throw it in a garbage can or flush it down the toilet (don’t flush the stick or a ball of course) You can even organize a little event in your backyard, invite some friends, pour some glasses of wine and let that past go together.
  10. Write a letter- Words are so important, writing is a great therapy for anyone. Write a letter to yourself or to the person that wronged you. Write how you felt, how you feel but also don’t forget to write that you forgive them ( or yourself if that is the case).

I hope I could help you with this post. Im sending you all of my support and positive energy.

Lots of Love, Ellodie.

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Butterfly in you

Greetings my lovelies. Today I managed to catch and trap that positivity cloud of mine. So now I am going to send it to you guys through todays post. Let’s get straight into today’s topic beause I am feeling extra chatty today and if I continue to write every word that flows through my brain, you would be stuck here with me for quite a long time. A few months ago I created an account oh HITRECORD. It’s a really creative and inspiring place to be if you are an artist so go check it out, it is a really nice community. I didn’t post much on their platform because It didn’t really stick with me like word press. Anyway I am really floating away from our topic today. There was a challenge there with word restriction to write a little poem or haiku. So I wrote this:

Butterfly had flew

Three days only

So he knew

To live slowly

The poem appeared in my mind out of nowhere. Actually it appeared just like a butterfly.  Flying gracefully without interrupting me the tiniest bit. It was up to me whether I notice it or not.  After that submission the poem just bonded with me. Became my mantra. Let me clarify it the best I can for you.

Moments not days

It’s a well known fact that butterflies live for only a few days ( two to ten days at the most ).  Within those few days butterfly always endeavors to fly directly under the sun. The butterfly warms his wings with sunrays,  it greets every flower he can find and rest a few seconds on every pestles and enjoys its nectars. Basically the butterflies live their  life to the fullest within those few days.  They don’t rush, they explore earths offerings and they thank the earth by admiring it and acknowledging  her existence.

I came to realize that is exactly how I should live. Before you disagree with me and start to think well we are not butterflies we have to work we have commitments, I agree. I am not saying we can go around jumping and looking at flowers all day.

We can stop looking at our phone screen while we are in the bus or walking to work and instead look at what surrounds us. I saw so many people admiring pictures of nature on their phones and not looking straight in front of them.  We can slow our pace down and not rush the conversations with our coworkers , friends or our siblings, we can see beauty in everyday activities. We can be better versions of ourselves, every day . We can start doing that one thing we always want to but never do because there is plenty of time. Unfortunately time is unpredictable, you can only be sure of this second. The other second is a bold and scary yet exciting question mark.

I had this morning, I have this second to sit down and write today. I am sure of this second but I can never be sure of the day. I can use every second that I have, that I can do and I will do it. Seconds become minutes hours and so on to the years. Every day you get to wake up and start fresh. Every morning the sun greets you with no judgment no memory of the days before, you can be what you want  to be. What you decide to be that day.

A butterfly was a caterpillar once

And there is nothing in a caterpillar that makes you think it is going to be a butterfly. With time it changes every day, little by little. Until one day it wakes up, spreads it wings and fly. You get to have that day.

 I was not the first one to find inspiration in these wonderful creatures so I will leave you today with a few of my favorite quotes about butterflies.

“The butterfly counts not months but moments, and has time enough. “ Rabindranath Tagore

“What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly. “ Richard Bach

“Just living is not enough,” said the butterfly, “one must have sunshine, freedom and a little flower.” Hans Christian Andersen

I hope you see a butterfly today  and smile (and remember me of course).

Who ever you are, be free.

Lots of love, Ellodie.

Amazingly long but I hope worthy intro to the main topic “The butterfly lifestyle” ( that will greet you in the second post)

I would like to start this post by saying thank you to everyone that viewed, read and liked my first post and the appearance of blog I hope. I am fully aware the blog is not in its best looking state right now ( newbie problems ) currently it’s in those scruffy awkward teenage years but it will soon blossom  with the help of my boyfriend that will oh so happily come and fix it a bit and I hope with the help of you guys. So that being said let’s take a big breath a bit bigger…just a bit…

No, you know what, here,  I am giving you all a snorkel cause we all are about to dive deep in that whirlpool I previously mentioned in my last post ( don’t worry it’s a very friendly loving whirlpool that drags you in just to show you all the colorful and sometimes not so colorful creatures that live in it)

I always liked expressing myself through art, words. I feel fulfilled when I do something creative and artistic on daily bases. Unfortunately human kind pushes away those needs, subconsciously. We have so much going around us and It can get pretty hard to sit down, tune out all the drama, the problems, the tasks that need to be done and turn on our needs, wishes and just enjoy the company of yourself. When we don’t do that,  when we ignore the important factors that makes us special, unique. When we ignore all the „creative“  things that as we grow up become more and more irrelevant. More and more secondary, every day of pushing those needs aside, prisoning your mind with the daily routines of waking up, going to work, coming home, giving your all to others.

I slowly came to realize that society, schools, collages, all those people „above us“  are teaching us to treat our brain, to treat ourselves like robots.  We follow along that rode, listen to the adults cause they know what’s the best. We drift away from our abilities from our talents because we have a teacher standing in front of a class teaching and telling the same things to a group of young children, to a group of amazing, fascinating minds. All of those minds are different, unique, they all have different gifts that are sitting there with them just waiting to be recognized and most of the time well…they don’t.

We have more and more young people not knowing who they are, not knowing what is their potential and in my opinion that is because of the non individual methods of teaching. And that’s when depression kicks in and the very peak of it all is you ignoring your talents, gifts, your ways of expressing, like those teachers ignored in your class.

When we ignore the way we connect with ourselves we ignore our entire being and imagine it like this, we all had those moments in life when we are so excited over something. We  just want to share a story or an emotion with our friend but that friend is on their phone not paying attention or looking around and not in your eyes acknowledging you that they are listening or even cutting you of with their problems and stories and leaving you sitting there muted. Well that is exactly how your subconscious feels when you ignore it, when you put all the tasks before it. Your subconscious  screaming to you through art, writing, reading, painting,  jogging, dancing, singing all those needs we so easily put at the bottom of our list because they are not primal they are not important enough and we have so much more important things do to. All the work, that sink full of dishes, all the clothes waiting to be washed and after that ironed. All those text messages waiting for a reply and so on but everyday we add something up and it becomes easier and easier to just well forget ourselves. That is my friend depression. Ever wondered why kids are so happy, It is not because they have no problems, remember yourself as a child you had problems.

There was that kid that had way cooler toys than you, there were all those groups of friends that were all conflicting with each other. There were those nasty looking and tasting stewed vegetables and healthy lunches that we all loved so much we would sit staring at it for hours because we couldn’t go out to play until we finish it. The cartoons that were way after bedtime, those were all major problems for us then even though now they seem silly. The reason kids are so happy is because despite those problems they do what they want, they face the problem. They face that bowl of nastiness, they finish it and then they go out and play, they don’t sit after they finished the problem waiting for another one. I was ignoring myself for a long time but now I started to change that. My dishes are now happily hanging out in the sink while I write this and I assure you nothing bad will happen to them.

I will have to split this into two posts because The butterfly lifestyle I want to talk about will be a long one and I don’t want to suffocate you with my rambling the way I do to people in real life ( ahh the beauty of internet). Therefore I hope you stick around and read tomorrows post and I hope you liked this one as well. Please feel free to like and comment, I would love to read your opinions, criticism and suggestions.

Hope you enjoyed my company because I surely enjoyed yours.

Finish that nasty bowl of problems and go out and play, much love.

Ellodie

A rather chatty introduction

Greetings world of WordPress

Since I am a Newbie here I gave a slight tought on how should I make my first impression here. We all know  first impressions are so important and they stay rooted in our mind for quite a long time. But I came up with nothing. Nothing  but storm of ideas, thoughts and words squished together.  And well there you go, that is my whirpool of a brain and that whirpool is constatnly spinning and draging along more thoughts every passing second.  That is one advantage of having an anxiety, you constantly think and calculate everything. Threfore I am comforting my somewhat damaged mental health with an idea of my own that the most creative people have anxiety…so if you are one of them, well congrats to you cause by my theory you are one amongst most creative people.

And since I touched that topic, I wanna give you a slight glance into my notebook of ideas and topics ready for this blog ( whilst I type this that shinning notebook sits looking rather so marvellously empty on my desk ) but no worries my mind is ready but my hand was just to lazy to write it on paper.

One recouring topic will most definantly be mental health, I have been through quite alot and when I needed help the professionals that were there to help did nothing but sit my but on that chair and ask questions such as : „Are you okay?“, „Why do you feel like that?“, „Dont be so harsh on yourself, sweetie.” And they would end that amazing beneficial session with a good old: „Its all gonna be okay.“

My conclusion after all that therapy was that I was just another name in their computer, another butt on their chairs, another zero on their paycheck. 

I am not saying that all of the therapists are like that but mine were. They were doing it for money and money in my opionion splashes mud on everything. But I couldn’t be more grateful to those therapists for when I came to my therapist the last time and while she was talking to her fellow worker about where she will go on her holliday I understood that I am not gonna waste another minute of my life there. I spotted how the sun peaked through her old black windows and I understood that life awaits for me out there, not here. I am in control of what I see, what I feel and what my thoughts are. I can sit here, locked amongst these cold plain walls and constantly spin around my problems or I can accept them go outside feel the warm sun on my skin look at the colorful trees and see how my thoughts change. So I wanna help you, be here for you and tell you that you can help yourself, you are the king in your head, you are the ruler. Therefor If you can be the destroyer and damage yourself you can for sure be the healer and fix every crack, because you know where that crack is hidding.

To end this post I will say : Talk to the sun about your problems and it will warm and mend your wounds, talk to the trees about them and they will whisper the truth.